Rok, the Survival Man

It occurs to me that I am very well suited to this particular apocalypse. Had the circumstances been any different, I would probably be dead now, and someone else would be maintaining a blog of their daily minutiae.

Had I needed to start a camp fire, I would be dead. Learned how once, forgot now. Luckily, there are lighters all over the place.

Had I needed to build a shelter, I would be dead. Fortunately, there are plenty of shelters that no one’s really using any more.

Had I needed to be particularly prepared for the apocalypse, I would be dead. At the end of the world or society or whatever, I had with me on my person or in my car: Two flashlights, an extra pair of underwear, a crumpled bag that once held tacos, a knit blanket, and a fountain pen (also the black dildo that Zoic mentioned. It’s a long story, and I don’t want to get into it now). Nothing there that would have really saved my life in any dire circumstances. The blanket is warmish, the flashlights have helped me see in the dark a lot, the paper bag was a paper bag, the pen might have helped fend off some pen collectors, and the dildo would probably only have been useful in distracting a couple of lesbian demons long enough for me to run away. I can dream. We’re not talking about a nuclear shelter here, or a stash of clean water. There were no fire arms.

Had I needed to kill an animal, I would be dead. While this one still may come up, it hasn’t yet. Fingers crossed. I’ll have Zoic do it if it needs doing. I bet she would.

Had I needed to convince others I was useful enough to keep around, I would be dead. Luckily, things worked out for me anyway.

Had I needed to go long periods of time without eating, I would be dead. I get grumpy.

Had I needed to go number 2 in the desert, I might have killed myself. It seems like a lot of work.

I consider myself lucky that the requirements in this apocalypse are strangely urban.


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