Sleeping

Rok and I have been sleeping in the same bed for a few nights. I ended up with a bruise on my shoulder from the nightmare that first night, but it’s fading now. He’s been suspiciously nice to me after Pancake died. We only talked about it a little. I mostly feel guilty for not having my gun. If I had had it on me I could have shot the zombie before he did too much damage to the fawn. Rok says that I can’t know if having the gun would have made any difference. Rok has been adamant to get me to stop thinking about it. He gave me a present he said he had been saving for a special occasion. It was a bag of art supplies he got from a supply store before we met. All of the locked cases were broken and looted, but there was still a lot of the good stuff left for him to take. I’ve been doing some art which is nice, but it pales in comparison to the sleep I’ve been getting. Sleeping in the same bed seemed odd for a bit, but I find it relieves some of the anxiety I feel in the morning. I usually wake up with some feeling of distress. I think it’s because my subconscious spends most of my REM sleep focusing on life before the apocalypse, and the transition back to reality is always a little jarring. It’s also comforting to wake up and find someone living beside me. It feels normal. I’m not sure how Rok feels on the situation. We usually sleep with me as the big spoon. We were alternating for a bit, but once I woke up with something pushing at my back. I’ve never heard Rok string so many curse words together. He lifted me up still laughing and moved me over to the other side of the bed. I’ve stayed there.

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