When I was younger, I was confused by the word “utilize”. I thought, we’ve got the word use, do we really need a longer version? I looked it up. As it turns out, utilize does not mean to use. It means to make use of something in a way it was never intended to be used. Like a fax machine as a blunt object for killing infected. I did that. I’ve also used a three-gallon jug of water, which was spectacular to say the least, and several well-placed sharpies. I won’t explain. So this post is for my all time dream weapon-that-isn’t-a-weapon, the claw machine claw. It’s general inaccessibility is what makes it so desirable. Its near impossibility is alluring. Under what circumstances would one be justified in using such a weapon? But the possibilities are endless. The cable that it rests on can be used to swing it. The cable inside that cable can be used to clamp down on an unsuspecting zombie face. I was never any good at the claw machine games, but this is one that I would put the practice time into. You might be thinking to yourself, “that doesn’t seem to be a great weapon at all. I don’t trust this Rok guy anymore. What kind of a name is Rok anyway?” Please, consider to yourself the glory, the prestige. If you have killed the infected with this weapon among arcade attractions, you win at the apocalypse. When people gather at the end of this ordeal, as they certainly will, perhaps around a campfire, they will tell stories. “Week one. Lawnmower.” “Week three. Rear View Mirror.” “Week six. Five Iron.” Then, “Week thirteen. Claw Machine Claw.” A hush falls over the crowd. Surely he didn’t say what we think he said. Indeed he did. “Claw Machine Claw.” And he reaches into his bag, pulls it out by the wire: a Claw Machine Claw, still holding the head of a dead infected. The women begin to cry. The men throw up. The children spontaneously combust. And all because of the beauty of it. Nothing can ever be that cool again. I see Zoic shaking her head. Maybe not everyone agrees with me. But I hope one day to have the chance to pull the still beating heart from one of those walking corpses. If their hearts still beat. I’m not actually sure of that one.